Wednesday, March 14   8:00 p.m.
Whisky Bar   (303 W 5th St)

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  The Gay Blades - Bob Dylan's 115th Nightmare
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Last winter, while traveling home on the iciest road the mid-Atlantic states could offer, Puppy Mills, aka The Snitch and Clark Westfield, aka The Aristocrat of Crime, better known as The Gay Blades, perished in an automobile accident. There was little solace for family and friends, partially because there was no family and there were no friends, but mainly because it was believed no one would ever again witness their acerbic brand of Trash Pop. (Aside: What is Trash Pop? Trash pop is what happens when two keenly observant wanna be hipsters write songs the same pair couldn't possibly pull off live, and make up for their missing bass player with consistent TNT like performances.)

Luckily for us, two young republicans gave up their dreams of world domination and 'richnessosity' to take up the cause; to carry the torch for their fallen heroes; to be The Gay Blades. Yes, The Gay Blades live on today with these bad news bears in sheep's clothing delighting fans in the grand tradition that was nearly extinguished that fateful night in December of 2005.

Now, ponder these truths before deciding whether to purchase a collection of TGB songs, to see a TGB live show, to write an article about TGB, or simply to fantasize about TGB when you're home sick and bored of The Price Is Right:

-Puppy Mills, aka The Snitch taught Keith Richards how to smoke?
-The Gay Blades beat up Little Richard for toning it down at a show in Cleveland
-Clark Westfield, aka The Aristocrat of Crime, made Jack White feel awkward during a frank discussion on sex
-The Gay Blades would like to have sex with The Eagles of Death Metal again
-The Good Things That Happen Bad People is the name of the duo's first full length due out this Spring (or later depending on Puppy Mills addiction)
-A split 7 inch with fellow Jersey City hoodlums Boy/Girl will be available through the greater Ace Fu Records network, Family Business. And yes, that is indie.
-The Gay Blades are almost always on tour and will eventually be coming to your town to sleep under your body...
-As you probably have already imagined, the folks at SXSW have invited the duo to dance on the bones of the over-hyped hipster blog bands of Austin this March.